These Crashy Days...

So a good friend sent me a private FB message saying if I didn't want to be so strong all of the time she was here to listen to me winge and whine anytime I needed it.  Said friend is definitely one of the smartest, safest people with whom I would rant and rave, but I try to save it for these blog posts.  I try not to drown people in sorrow on "Best Face forward-Book", that is the place of sunshine and light and family pics and "see how well I'm doing?? I'm fine, no Fine, no FINE I tell you, godddamit!

The truth is I dread every round of chemo.  I had a major meltdown last time when I thought I was on my "getting better" day (according to the demanding schedule inside of my head, based on the last round) and I tried to take the small dog for a five mintue shuffle down the road and found myself heart pounding, lathery sweat, shaking trying to get home.  Plus the stupid dog refused to poop, which probably meant a lovely surprise on the kitchen floor later, but that's a whine for another time...

I can sum up my chemo week (I get my infusion on a Tuesday and usuallys start crashing on Thursday) like the opening theme of that classic, feel good show,  Happy Days, if you're old enough to remember Fonz and the Gang sing along in your head:

Tuesday, Wednesday - HAPPY DAYS  (I have a buttload of steroids keeping me artificially afloat)

Thursday, Friday -CRASHY DAYS  (steroids have worn off... the drugged "Bill Cosby's date" feeling) sets in...

Saturday, Sunday - BONE PAINY DAYS (from my immune booster shot, ususally settles in a throbbing headache and lower back pain, with bonus shots down my front femurs, fun!)

Monday Comes, METAL MOUTH AND GUMS, and everything tastes like burnt sooo-ooot!

Sing it!  These days go ooon-ooon-oon... these crashy days!!!  For about 10-12 days they go ooon-ooon-oon, (along with gastrointestinal distress and various emotional breakdowns!)

Sing it!...   Ah, suck it!