Thursday, January 13, 2011

I give up, let the judgement begin...........

I could also entitle this post, "One of the many reasons I should be asked to get out of the car so I can be smacked on the back of the head".

This post is not about my kids..... the thing is, they're getting better, they seem to be morphing toward a more humanoid form, from the life-force sucking, face-melting screaming overlords that they were once wont to  be.   So now I need to find new things to write about, until they throw the next curveball at me and I find myself sobbing in a corner somewhere, while feeling vaguely grateful for blog content.

So on Monday morning I'm rushing about, getting everyone ready for school/work/babysitters and I go to start the car to warm it up for the mitten refusing screamees.  I reach into my purse and find that my car keys are not there.  I look in the cubby on the shelf in the kitchen, also no keys, coat pockets.... NOPE!  A rising sense of panic begins to engulf me...not that I won't be able to leave the house and I'll be trapped in the snow with bored kids all day trying to work from home....wait, why wasn't I more panicked about that???

Hmmmm, probably because I was more preoccupied with dreading having to tell the husband that I couldn't find the keys.  I'd get THE LOOK, the EYE ROLL and THE sermon about not looking after my stuff and not paying attention, and the I told you this would happen, blah blah blah until I lose the ability to process sound and colors become a blur and I begin to rock back and forth emitting high pitched keening sounds to block it all out.

You see, the problem is, I may have borrowed his spare set of keys to the car and I may have already irrevocably lost uh, misplaced them.  I may have already not paid quite enough attention to where I put the spare valet key that also came with the car.  I mean who pays attention to the valet key?  How pretentious do you expect me to be that we need a whole separate key for the valet for Pete's sake? There is not one place to valet park in our whole county.  I can't be held responsible for keeping it real man.

So, yes, that's three sets of keys for the car, not in my possession.  Oh, and did I fail to mention that we only bought the car 2 1/2 months ago?

You can commence the fantasy head slapping now.   I'll just wait here while you close your eyes and join my husband in this imaginary delivery of due justice.

So I called in to work and our secretary, who is extremely organized and on the ball stated, "don't worry, you just have to give them the number of the metal security tag that came with the car to get the keys replaced."

"Ahh, yes" I say, wracking my brain for the faint memory of that tag, "of course, I'll just fetch it from its secured spot where I would have put it away for just such an emergency"

Of course I have NO flippin' idea where that thing could be, I mean give me a break....why would I pay attention to that, I mean I have THREE sets of keys for the car, why in God's name would I ever need to order more???

So as is turns out I have to have the car TOWED to the car dealership and pay for the new high-tech electronic key and it's programming.  It came to almost $180.  This is of course on top of the over $400 I incurred in fines from events chronicled the last post.

Go ahead and judge me now, I deserve it....

I think I'll just go sign up for that back of the head slap now.......

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