Monday, December 6, 2010

Scooby and Shaggy would be proud......

It turns out I'm not as tough as I thought I was.  Every teenage girl and young woman likes to think that they are tough...we are women hear us roar and all of that.  When I was in graduate school to become a psychologist, I thought, "I'm going to be a forensic psychologist, I'm going to work in a PRISON!!  I am TOUGH!.  I took my first forensic class (an elective), read my first victim statement and I realized, whoa...not cut out for this.  Then I thought, I will work with trauma victims, I am tough, I can handle it.  Nope, sorry, that made you cry too,  do you want your money back for your degree???

So now I do research..

(disclaimer...I did clinical work for 8 years with addicted teenagers, but they were tough, so I didn't have to be.....but I digress)

Back to me not being tough....

So last night my 6 y.o. girl, Kenzie wakes me up at 2 am because the wind is blowing.  We are having a late fall windstorm and it's really noisy.  The fact that she has totally regressed and will not sleep by herself (along with her brother...) is a post for another day....

So I crawl into her bed and try to sleep.  Around 4 am, the fan in her room and the nightlight go out at the same time and we are plunged into darkness.  So far, I'm OK...the power is just out, no big deal.  Except that her nightlight comes back on and starts flickering madly and chaotically.  I think, hmmm, maybe there's some residual electricity left in the circuit and the night light is small enought to be lit by it.  Surely there is no ghostly presence trying to send me morse code messages from the great beyond...surely not, heh, heh, that would be ridiculous right??

I get up out of the bed and unplug the nightlight and notice that the lamp down the hall in the boys room is still lit.  Hmmmm, this is strange, how can there be a power outage in just one room in the house?  I touch her lamp and it comes on...ok...must just be this outlet.  No morse code from ghosts, just a faulty electrical outlet that's acting wonky in the middle of the night, nothing to worry about there...

I crawl back into bed and suddenly, the lamp that I just turned on,  goes out, plunging us into darkness again.  I can still see from the faint glow down the hall that this is only happening in this room.

I begin to take it personally.....I also begin to try to talk myself out of the bed to investigate, which sounds like this....

Me: Ok, get out of bed, just go and turn on the hall light and check to make sure the house isn't on fire.

Me. Nope, uh-uh.  There is clearly a monster under the bed just waiting to slither it's tentacles out and drag me screaming under there with him.

Me.  Stop being a baby, you are a PARENT....get up!

Me:  Did you not hear the part about the monster, my feet are BARE for God's sake, that is the universal beacon to monsters.  Bare feet....yummy!  Listen, if I had socks on, I may be able to deal  with the situation, my hands are tied here.

Me: Listen, in the unlikely event that there IS a monster, and ye DOES love bare feet and he DRAGS you under the bed, don't you realize what that would mean?

Me: I sense you're trying to trick me here, go on....

Me:  You wouldn't have to do the morning routine with the boys......

So I LEAP out of bed, across the room and run to the hallway.  The light there is working.  I hesitate, not sure what to do now.   The hall light is too bright to leave on...I know, I'll turn on the linen closet light off the hall.  OK, done, back to bed with Kenzie.

I get in, pull the covers up and , you guessed it, THE LINEN CLOSET LIGHT GOES OUT.

Ok, now I'm getting a little freaked out.  I run down the hall to our room where my husband is sleeping (with the boy who refuses to stay in his own bed....) I LEAP onto his prone body, landing on all fours like a cat who has had his rest disturbed by a rocket launch.  I hiss, WAKE UP. " The lights are doing crazy things....I'm really freaked out....  I keep the monsters to myself, even at 4 am, I know that will make me sound a little loony and he won't take me seriously.

"Where's Kenzie, is she awake too?" he asks"  

Oh.  Right.  The Child.

Well it seems as I was running for my life, I may have, umm, left her behind.   Fear not, she was covered by the blanket.  That is the universal forcefield of protection.  Just ask anyone...

Anyway, as it turns out, the wind downed a tree branch with left us with partial power in that end of the house.  The timing of the lights going off?  Well I guess that's just a coincidence, right?

So I call the power company this morning to report the problem.  As I'm getting off the phone with the agent, I say, "So is there anything we should do in the meantime, while we're waiting for the line to be fixed?"

She pauses and says, "Well, I mean, if it catches on fire, definitely call us back."

I feel safer with the monsters......

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