Ack, I'm tired. I'm not sure if it's the lack of light, because I stopped taking my Rhodiola, or because I can't sleep because I have to play musical beds all night.
I start out by needing to sit with the oldest, Kenzie until she falls asleep. She has developed a fear of her bedroom over the last year and refuses to sleep alone. I've tried letting her cry it out at age 6 but she seems so genuinely fearful that I'm sitting with her and hoping this too will pass.
So anyway, after she falls asleep around 8 or 830 I continue with my night until 11 or so when I go to bed. I am usually woken by Kenzie between 130-230 am when she wakes up and finds herself alone, gets scared and calls for me. I go into her bed for a while until Zac wakes up somewhere between 3 and 4. He too refuses to sleep alone, stating he is scared of his bed. I crawl into bed with him until his brother wakes between 5 and 530 wanting to get up for the day. After some high stakes negotiations, Marcus is settled back into his bed and I try to go back to my own. Sometimes I make it and sometimes Kenzie wakes AGAIN and I have to go back in with her. This happens EVERY NIGHT.
Luckily I have learned to survive on very little sleep during basic training, back when the twins were infants and woke every two hours until they were 14 months old. I would like to have hope that this will pass but considering Mackenzie is sleeping worse now than than any other time in her life, I'm not optimistic.
I would usually try to insert something funny here, but my funny is tired today too, so just carry on, go about your business... nothing to see here....
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I give up, let the judgement begin...........
I could also entitle this post, "One of the many reasons I should be asked to get out of the car so I can be smacked on the back of the head".
This post is not about my kids..... the thing is, they're getting better, they seem to be morphing toward a more humanoid form, from the life-force sucking, face-melting screaming overlords that they were once wont to be. So now I need to find new things to write about, until they throw the next curveball at me and I find myself sobbing in a corner somewhere, while feeling vaguely grateful for blog content.
So on Monday morning I'm rushing about, getting everyone ready for school/work/babysitters and I go to start the car to warm it up for the mitten refusing screamees. I reach into my purse and find that my car keys are not there. I look in the cubby on the shelf in the kitchen, also no keys, coat pockets.... NOPE! A rising sense of panic begins to engulf me...not that I won't be able to leave the house and I'll be trapped in the snow with bored kids all day trying to work from home....wait, why wasn't I more panicked about that???
Hmmmm, probably because I was more preoccupied with dreading having to tell the husband that I couldn't find the keys. I'd get THE LOOK, the EYE ROLL and THE sermon about not looking after my stuff and not paying attention, and the I told you this would happen, blah blah blah until I lose the ability to process sound and colors become a blur and I begin to rock back and forth emitting high pitched keening sounds to block it all out.
You see, the problem is, I may have borrowed his spare set of keys to the car and I may have alreadyirrevocably lost uh, misplaced them. I may have already not paid quite enough attention to where I put the spare valet key that also came with the car. I mean who pays attention to the valet key? How pretentious do you expect me to be that we need a whole separate key for the valet for Pete's sake? There is not one place to valet park in our whole county. I can't be held responsible for keeping it real man.
So, yes, that's three sets of keys for the car, not in my possession. Oh, and did I fail to mention that we only bought the car 2 1/2 months ago?
You can commence the fantasy head slapping now. I'll just wait here while you close your eyes and join my husband in this imaginary delivery of due justice.
So I called in to work and our secretary, who is extremely organized and on the ball stated, "don't worry, you just have to give them the number of the metal security tag that came with the car to get the keys replaced."
"Ahh, yes" I say, wracking my brain for the faint memory of that tag, "of course, I'll just fetch it from its secured spot where I would have put it away for just such an emergency"
Of course I have NO flippin' idea where that thing could be, I mean give me a break....why would I pay attention to that, I mean I have THREE sets of keys for the car, why in God's name would I ever need to order more???
So as is turns out I have to have the car TOWED to the car dealership and pay for the new high-tech electronic key and it's programming. It came to almost $180. This is of course on top of the over $400 I incurred in fines from events chronicled the last post.
Go ahead and judge me now, I deserve it....
I think I'll just go sign up for that back of the head slap now.......
This post is not about my kids..... the thing is, they're getting better, they seem to be morphing toward a more humanoid form, from the life-force sucking, face-melting screaming overlords that they were once wont to be. So now I need to find new things to write about, until they throw the next curveball at me and I find myself sobbing in a corner somewhere, while feeling vaguely grateful for blog content.
So on Monday morning I'm rushing about, getting everyone ready for school/work/babysitters and I go to start the car to warm it up for the mitten refusing screamees. I reach into my purse and find that my car keys are not there. I look in the cubby on the shelf in the kitchen, also no keys, coat pockets.... NOPE! A rising sense of panic begins to engulf me...not that I won't be able to leave the house and I'll be trapped in the snow with bored kids all day trying to work from home....wait, why wasn't I more panicked about that???
Hmmmm, probably because I was more preoccupied with dreading having to tell the husband that I couldn't find the keys. I'd get THE LOOK, the EYE ROLL and THE sermon about not looking after my stuff and not paying attention, and the I told you this would happen, blah blah blah until I lose the ability to process sound and colors become a blur and I begin to rock back and forth emitting high pitched keening sounds to block it all out.
You see, the problem is, I may have borrowed his spare set of keys to the car and I may have already
So, yes, that's three sets of keys for the car, not in my possession. Oh, and did I fail to mention that we only bought the car 2 1/2 months ago?
You can commence the fantasy head slapping now. I'll just wait here while you close your eyes and join my husband in this imaginary delivery of due justice.
So I called in to work and our secretary, who is extremely organized and on the ball stated, "don't worry, you just have to give them the number of the metal security tag that came with the car to get the keys replaced."
"Ahh, yes" I say, wracking my brain for the faint memory of that tag, "of course, I'll just fetch it from its secured spot where I would have put it away for just such an emergency"
Of course I have NO flippin' idea where that thing could be, I mean give me a break....why would I pay attention to that, I mean I have THREE sets of keys for the car, why in God's name would I ever need to order more???
So as is turns out I have to have the car TOWED to the car dealership and pay for the new high-tech electronic key and it's programming. It came to almost $180. This is of course on top of the over $400 I incurred in fines from events chronicled the last post.
Go ahead and judge me now, I deserve it....
I think I'll just go sign up for that back of the head slap now.......
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Please don't judge me.....
I'm kind of cringing as I write this. I don't know why I need to confess my sins in this way, but I'm telling you things here that I usually sanitize for other people who I have to see face to face.
You see, the problem is, I'm a slackass. I usually procrastinate in doing mundane detail type tasks until severe consequences occur. This is most apparent when it comes to details about my car.
There, I said it, it's about the car.
That's not so bad you say? Well just give me a minute here.
So I'm driving in Halifax (our closest bigger city for all of you who stumble upon this blog from Australia and New Zealand and Russia.....) and I'm with one of my best friends, Tabitha. Now Tab is extremely responsible and not usually a bad influence but something EVIL got into her this day.
We're coming down a road about to turn into a busy, stop and go type road with lots of traffic lights and I arrive at the intersection just as the light is turning yellow.
"Just GO!" She says, although it was my instinct to stop, not rush into strange intersections in a city I'm visiting.
So I go, and I see that now directly behind me as the light changes... there is a police car.
Now this would not normally be a problem to most non-slack-assed, law abiding citizens of the world. But I begin to panic like I've got a trunk full of Mexican cartel members with nether regions stuffed full of nefarious substances. This is because I have failed to get the licence tags renewed on my car. It is December and they have been expired since September. The cop is close behind me so I just know it is going to be apparent that I have failed to do my law abiding duty of renewing my tags REALLY SOON!
"I'm just going to turn off here, my tags are expired, I want that Cop off my ass" I say. "Oh, don't be silly," says Tab. That cop is not going to want to get out of a warm car and do all of the paperwork for some stupid expired tags, just keep going. They're too busy at this time of year for that, and probably lazy on top it all".
So I continue driving, sweating bullets the whole time. Now you may be thinking that I am overreacting, but here's the thing. I couldn't bring myself to tell Tab that, um,
Ahem... my licence also expired over a year ago. So if I get pulled over, I have no licence for the car and no valid driver's licence. You see my Mexican drug cartel reaction now?
So, of course the inevitable happens, I'm sitting in traffic at a light and "Whooooo, on go the lights and the siren behind me." We're at a red light and I'm on the inside lane of traffic so I can't go anywhere so I just start yelling, "LIGHTS! What do I do???? I can't move!" We have to sit there, waiting for the light change with the cop's lights going behind me. People in other cars are looking at me..."What?? It's not me...can't you see I am clearly a law abiding citizen here....DO I LOOK LIKE A DRUG RUNNER TO YOU?"
So we pull over and the cop comes over. Female.... just great, harder to manipulate. She informs me that my licence plate tags are expired and asks to see my license, insurance and registration.
So now I pretend to dig through my purse to look for my license and the thing is, I know it's not there...I don't carry it with me, cause it's EXPIRED!.. I have this delusion that if I ever get pulled over, I can just say that, "Oops, I don't seem to have my license on me" and they'll say, "Ok, you have 24 hours to bring it to the station, at which point I may feel motivated to get it renewed before I present it to them. I know, it's a miracle people let me handle sharp objects.....
"I have more bad news, officer" I confess with a cringing look on my face. I don't seem to have my license on me.." "Just cuff me now and throw me in jail" I add dramatically, offering up my wrists for her inspection. She declines politely an asks for some other picture ID to prove that I am indeed the person to whom the car belongs.
Now, here's something else.... the only picture ID I have is my work ID, and the thing is....it's in a different name than the one on my license and insurance. I have TWO names. One that is legal that I don't use (my birth name) and one that I use that is not legal (my step father's name who raised me from a baby). So some of my ID is in one name (school diplomas, job title) and some is in my legal name on my birth certificate (driver's license, passport).
So I explain to her my two name thing, and she asks if I have any other ID with my legal name on it. I offer her my credit cards, and then inform her that I realize they of course, could be stolen and prove nothing.... I'm going with as much self deprecation as I can here.... she then asks for my insurance, which I thankfully, do have. I inform her in a self-rightous way that I would "Never drive with out insurance...." which I quickly realize has NO CREDIBILITY coming from me.... she takes my stuff back to the car.
Then she comes back to the window and informs me that my license expired in January of 2009..that's almost two years ago, it's worse than I thought. It's truly a wonder she didn't demand that I get out of the car just so she could smack the back of my head...Instead she informed me that she can't let me drive the car without a valid licence so my friend has to drive it away under her supervision or she has to have it towed.
'Oh, no problem officer" I say, and we give her Tab's license. As she goes back to her car I realize that my car is a standard and TAB CANNOT DRIVE A STANDARD. (are you dropping your shaking head into your hands yet??)
So we have to call Tab's husband, Jamie, to come and rescue us. Tab does not tell him what's going on, only that she'll explain when he gets here. 10 minutes later we see him sitting at the same traffic light (the one that will exist in my nightmares) that we were just at and he looking over at us sitting beside the cop car with the flashing lights, and laughing his ass off! He sends a text. "what did you guys DO?" I'm so glad it wasn't my husband we had to call, he would not have been laughing so hard via text.
So I finally get the tickets after 20 mins of waiting, and the officer informs me that I can attend court on the date indicated on the ticket and plead not guilty if I so wished. Seriously, I have no idea how she kept a straight face whilst telling me this....yes, I'll go to court and FIGHT THE MAN..or woman as it were. Nope, more like sheepishly taking the ticket, and slinking away as quietly as I could, as a passenger in Tab's car cause now I'm not allowed to drive my own...
So I went to the DMV as soon as I could and got my license and plates renewed. The picture on my driver's license is the worst one I've ever seen of myself, I look like I'm having an anaphalactic reaction to the camera.
To punish myself I vowed to keep it and let is serve as an ugly reminder of the ugly day.
You see, the problem is, I'm a slackass. I usually procrastinate in doing mundane detail type tasks until severe consequences occur. This is most apparent when it comes to details about my car.
There, I said it, it's about the car.
That's not so bad you say? Well just give me a minute here.
So I'm driving in Halifax (our closest bigger city for all of you who stumble upon this blog from Australia and New Zealand and Russia.....) and I'm with one of my best friends, Tabitha. Now Tab is extremely responsible and not usually a bad influence but something EVIL got into her this day.
We're coming down a road about to turn into a busy, stop and go type road with lots of traffic lights and I arrive at the intersection just as the light is turning yellow.
"Just GO!" She says, although it was my instinct to stop, not rush into strange intersections in a city I'm visiting.
So I go, and I see that now directly behind me as the light changes... there is a police car.
Now this would not normally be a problem to most non-slack-assed, law abiding citizens of the world. But I begin to panic like I've got a trunk full of Mexican cartel members with nether regions stuffed full of nefarious substances. This is because I have failed to get the licence tags renewed on my car. It is December and they have been expired since September. The cop is close behind me so I just know it is going to be apparent that I have failed to do my law abiding duty of renewing my tags REALLY SOON!
"I'm just going to turn off here, my tags are expired, I want that Cop off my ass" I say. "Oh, don't be silly," says Tab. That cop is not going to want to get out of a warm car and do all of the paperwork for some stupid expired tags, just keep going. They're too busy at this time of year for that, and probably lazy on top it all".
So I continue driving, sweating bullets the whole time. Now you may be thinking that I am overreacting, but here's the thing. I couldn't bring myself to tell Tab that, um,
Ahem... my licence also expired over a year ago. So if I get pulled over, I have no licence for the car and no valid driver's licence. You see my Mexican drug cartel reaction now?
So, of course the inevitable happens, I'm sitting in traffic at a light and "Whooooo, on go the lights and the siren behind me." We're at a red light and I'm on the inside lane of traffic so I can't go anywhere so I just start yelling, "LIGHTS! What do I do???? I can't move!" We have to sit there, waiting for the light change with the cop's lights going behind me. People in other cars are looking at me..."What?? It's not me...can't you see I am clearly a law abiding citizen here....DO I LOOK LIKE A DRUG RUNNER TO YOU?"
So we pull over and the cop comes over. Female.... just great, harder to manipulate. She informs me that my licence plate tags are expired and asks to see my license, insurance and registration.
So now I pretend to dig through my purse to look for my license and the thing is, I know it's not there...I don't carry it with me, cause it's EXPIRED!.. I have this delusion that if I ever get pulled over, I can just say that, "Oops, I don't seem to have my license on me" and they'll say, "Ok, you have 24 hours to bring it to the station, at which point I may feel motivated to get it renewed before I present it to them. I know, it's a miracle people let me handle sharp objects.....
"I have more bad news, officer" I confess with a cringing look on my face. I don't seem to have my license on me.." "Just cuff me now and throw me in jail" I add dramatically, offering up my wrists for her inspection. She declines politely an asks for some other picture ID to prove that I am indeed the person to whom the car belongs.
Now, here's something else.... the only picture ID I have is my work ID, and the thing is....it's in a different name than the one on my license and insurance. I have TWO names. One that is legal that I don't use (my birth name) and one that I use that is not legal (my step father's name who raised me from a baby). So some of my ID is in one name (school diplomas, job title) and some is in my legal name on my birth certificate (driver's license, passport).
So I explain to her my two name thing, and she asks if I have any other ID with my legal name on it. I offer her my credit cards, and then inform her that I realize they of course, could be stolen and prove nothing.... I'm going with as much self deprecation as I can here.... she then asks for my insurance, which I thankfully, do have. I inform her in a self-rightous way that I would "Never drive with out insurance...." which I quickly realize has NO CREDIBILITY coming from me.... she takes my stuff back to the car.
Then she comes back to the window and informs me that my license expired in January of 2009..that's almost two years ago, it's worse than I thought. It's truly a wonder she didn't demand that I get out of the car just so she could smack the back of my head...Instead she informed me that she can't let me drive the car without a valid licence so my friend has to drive it away under her supervision or she has to have it towed.
'Oh, no problem officer" I say, and we give her Tab's license. As she goes back to her car I realize that my car is a standard and TAB CANNOT DRIVE A STANDARD. (are you dropping your shaking head into your hands yet??)
So we have to call Tab's husband, Jamie, to come and rescue us. Tab does not tell him what's going on, only that she'll explain when he gets here. 10 minutes later we see him sitting at the same traffic light (the one that will exist in my nightmares) that we were just at and he looking over at us sitting beside the cop car with the flashing lights, and laughing his ass off! He sends a text. "what did you guys DO?" I'm so glad it wasn't my husband we had to call, he would not have been laughing so hard via text.
So I finally get the tickets after 20 mins of waiting, and the officer informs me that I can attend court on the date indicated on the ticket and plead not guilty if I so wished. Seriously, I have no idea how she kept a straight face whilst telling me this....yes, I'll go to court and FIGHT THE MAN..or woman as it were. Nope, more like sheepishly taking the ticket, and slinking away as quietly as I could, as a passenger in Tab's car cause now I'm not allowed to drive my own...
So I went to the DMV as soon as I could and got my license and plates renewed. The picture on my driver's license is the worst one I've ever seen of myself, I look like I'm having an anaphalactic reaction to the camera.
To punish myself I vowed to keep it and let is serve as an ugly reminder of the ugly day.
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